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On Being Too Nice

Hi! I’m Polly Anna! Okay, my name is really Viki, but…Llmsu

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artificial mink fur eyelash

I frequently get slammed for being too Polly-Anna. Too perky. Too upbeat. Too positive. People judge my attitude as phony and unreal.

To their credit, I too sometimes forget myself and pass judgment when I see these same people decrying on FB and Twitter, “I don’t know why people keep saying I’m mean. I’m not mean, I’m just honest. I can’t help it if my honesty hurts people’s artificial mink fur eyelash. It’s just who I am. At least I’m real.”

I find myself thinking: ‘Well, first off, if more than one person has told you that you’re mean, on more than one occasion, then chances are you are mean. Second, since when is being mean and hateful real, and practicing common decency and kindness towards others artificial mink fur eyelash?’

I think being “honest” to the point of being mean is a cop out. It’s easier to be mean than it is to work at being nice. And that’s just me being “honest”. So, I’m not perfect and judgment-free either. But, the way I have it figured we all have the potentiality for both: meanness and kindness, dark and light, evil and good already within us. What we choose to be, how we choose to behave towards others is exactly that, a CHOICE, a choice we get to make in each and every human interaction we undertake. We choose. It’s that simple. But I digress. Stepping off my soapbox to get back to my original topic.

I am frequently judged as suspect for smiling, sharing kind words, speaking positivity, and striving to uplift and inspire others.

What most people don’t know about me is that there was a time in my life, after watching my parents divorce at 10, after watching the girls in Jr. High viciously turn on me with bullying and nastiness when my body developed early, after having to fight off grown men, one of them a family member, at the age of 13 or 14 who thought that because I was built like a woman they had a right to put their hands all over me and spread self-delusional stories about their sexual encounters, that somehow always imagined me involved, a time when I became very closed off. A time when I was filled with sadness, loneliness, pain, fear, anger, and resentment. A time when I behaved badly, and artificial mink fur eyelash out at others, as a result of all these negative emotions long harbored and hidden.

Until one day I looked in the mirror and realized I didn’t like the person looking back at me. She wasn’t really me and I didn’t want her in my life anymore. It never ceases to amaze me how anger and fear, lived long enough, begin to show on the physical being. A tightness, a pinched look, that begins to take residence around the eyes and mouth. The bitterness begins to show on the face for the world to see. A slight double chin begins to form from always having eyes artificial mink fur eyelash and head tilted forward. A tightening in the chest that causes the shoulders to hunch forward a bit as the body begins to close off and collapse in on itself.

I knew I had to make a concerted effort to release her, and to replace my negative way of coping with new softer, kinder, gentler habits. It was only after a period of working at this new choice in behavior that I began to love myself and who I am again, that I was able to look in the mirror and cherish what was reflected back at me.

This coupled with losing someone I dearly loved to suicide, made me realize that life is short and I only get so much time with the people I care about. I only get so much time to reach out and impact others. I only get so much time to point out another’s inherent worth and beauty in order to build their belief in themselves. I only get so much time to inspire someone else to be present, open, let go of fear, live fully, embrace life, and give what they can to enrich the lives of others. For I believe with all my heart that we were put on this earth with a purpose and I don’t believe that purpose is to make other people’s lives harder. I believe we are meant to take what we love, what we are passionate about, and find a way to use it to not only raise our own level of joy, but to bring happiness, ease, love, and a moment, or more, of kindness and care to artificial mink fur eyelash.

So slam me for being nice. I’ve been called far worse in my life. And I refuse to let a handful of cynical, “I’m not mean, I’m honest”, types deter me from my goal of reaching out and lifting up those who need it, and are willing to receive it.

Does it take work to keep that positive energy flowing? Yes, daily. Is it worth the effort? Oh, yeah. Because each time I hear from someone that artificial mink fur eyelash I’ve said, or done, has impacted or improved some area of their life, I feel rewarded. And I feel honored to have been blessed with the ability to be an encourager, a supporter, an energy-raiser.

We all have the choice everyday. For today I choose to behave with love, empathy, kindness, and care in the hope of making someone else’s life a little bit better.

artificial mink fur eyelash
artificial mink fur eyelash

Viki Stanley-Hutchison is a certified life coach, and motivational speaker, who is passionate about helping women heal after life setbacks, as well as helping women set and achieve personal and artificial mink fur eyelash  goals with simplicity and ease by providing loving guidance, accountability, and tips, tools and techniques to overcome setbacks and obstacles so they can create lives they love.

 

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